beautiful knots.

I am having one of those days where I am in deep self interrogation, just short of self deprecation. Just as I feel like there's no other way I can possibly accomplish things better, communicate clearer, or love people dearer, I hit a knot...a huge knot of soul-questioning and an awkward guilt. Although highly unpleasant, confusing, and mind reeling I have concluded that knots keep me maturing, keep me digesting, and thinking...keep me alive. Knots are good for identifying just how little I know, just how dependent I really am, and for highlighting areas of sin that, if I had continued to plod thinly and weakly along as a string, would have been dead and numb to seeing. They negate me from getting too settled in my limited understanding or apathetic way of loving, and identify my status of fleshly versus Spirit led living. When I hit a knot, I'm coming to learn that it doesn't mean there is something wrong with me, it means the gears in my soul are awake and doing their job at making me aware of my needs and shortcomings. Therefore, I thank you beautiful knots, thank you revealing confusion for sparing my soul once again. That's all dearlings.